when i lay down

When i lay down so many thought s cross my mind.....well in case one thinks what am i talking about its about relationships..... and mine in particular..... well i read somewhere that relationships are like being in a restaurant.... you want to order what the other guy orders ... this did not happen for me.... but yeah i definitely feel ...i dont wanna enter in any such restaurant.....
tricky situation this is.... coz humans are brought up with this propensity.. to seek company of someone.... male or female..... great except when u re at one of the receiving ends of it..... like i am.... and best part is it is no body's fault.... relationships do not have any definite rules.... u can never say who in the world can go famously without a speck..... if ask me i will come across as a coward..... who wants to run away.... well i have respect for my sanity.... i dont wanna loose it and loose it again..... i have lived thru the pain and a bit of pleasure of it alll.... but pain is too much deep excruciating agonizing pain....so much so that i begin to think ..why do i have to go thru it... well why wont u just go about effortlessly ....thru life.... actually i have this tendency ... to be too protective of my emotions....to the extent .... any deviation from th enormal sets my alarm ringing...... guess i am not meant for it..... it is the perogative of brave and mighty....well one school of thoght is ...relationships are a part of life...and one should be clear about it...... well the safety net again.... i am guilty here...... i go on and on..without realising the breaking stress...... thats the trick...like a friend of mine said once that keep your priorities clear and evrything falls into place... and i have seen people do that quite easily...... hey then if thats the trick why does not it come easily to me...... a conscious and more discilplined effort ...... a something called belief .... is important.... dude ... lets try it....

rest aftr this experimentation....